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Jimatkan Minyak

Pengikut Mymilamin Blog

Rahsia laci

Sepasang Suami isteri baru melangsungkan perkahwinan. Si Suami bertanya isterinya samada dia boleh mempunyai sebuah laci khas untuk dirinya sahaja. Si isterinya pun tanpa memikirkan yang bukan-bukan terus sahaja bersetuju.

Setelah 30 tahun berkahwin, si isteri tadi pun teringat kepada laci persendirian suaminya dan bila diintainya didapati didalamnya terdapat 3 biji bola golf dan duit sebanyak RM 2000.00.

Si isteri tadi terus mendapatkan suaminya untuk penjelasan.
Setelah dipaksa dengan bersungguh-sungguh si suami pun terpaksa menjelaskannya.
Dia menjelaskan, "setiap kali abang buat curang di luar, abang akan simpan sebiji bola golf di dalam laci".


Si isteri berfikir, "30 tahun kahwin baru ada 3 biji bola?.. Hmm taklah jahat sangat". Habis tu apa kena mengena dengan duit RM 2000.00 tu?

"Setiap kali bola golf tu cukup sedozen, abang akan jual...

10:40 PM | 0 ulasan | Read More

Cerita 3 Doktor

Di sebuah hospital, ada 3 orang doktor yang bersahabat baik. Mereka bertiga sentiasa bersama-sama sejak dari zaman belajar di universiti lagi.

Kesetiaan dan semangat setiakawan mereka bertiga memang diakui oleh semua staf-staf yang ada.

Setelah sekian lama, masing-masing telah menjadi doktor pakar dalam bidang yang berbeza..

Pada satu ketika, seorang dari mereka telah meninggal dunia. Dek kerana khidmat yang cemerlang yang telah diberikan, maka Doktor A telah diberikan penghargaan khas, iaitu dibina sebuah tugu untuknya. Oleh kerana beliau Doktor pakar dalam bidang mata, maka tugu berbentuk mata dibina berhampiran dengan tempat beliau disemadikan...

Tidak lama kemudian, Doktor B pula meninggal dunia. Oleh kerana Doktor B seorang pakar jantung, maka tugu berbentuk jantung dibina berhampiran kuburannya, sepertimana yang dianugerahkan kepada Doktor A....

Selepas selesai majlis pengebumian Doktor B, para hadirin telah terperasan yang Doktor C kelihatan begitu sugul sekali.

Salah seorang daripada mereka cuba menenangkannya...

"Doktor, kami tahu Doktor memang bersahabat baik dengan kedua-dua arwah.. tapi ajal mereka dah tiba. Ini adalah takdir."

lalu Doktor C menjawab...

"Aku tahu memang ajal mereka. tapi bukan sebab itu aku bersedih... "

"Aku risau selepas aku mati nanti, satu tugu dibina berhampiran dengan kubur aku..."

"Aku kan PAKAR SAKIT TUAN!!!"
9:12 PM | 0 ulasan | Read More

Bollok wok...



Mamat rase malassang nök bangung tiddo. Nye gulling-gulling atah katil. Pusing kiri, pusing kanang. Serba dök kene dia berase. Mök Lijöh blèbèr hanyaar kot luör pitu, “Mat! Matahari nök tinggi galöh döh ning, ka’ak rezeki kalu bangung lèwat-lèwat. Mung dök kheje ke ari ning?”

Dök tahang kene blèbèr Mamat Ppayang pong bikah bangung ceggat dari katil. Baru dia teringat pukol 11 ada kene wat kheje sikit hök Böh dia suroh kemarèng. Mamat pong jungaa tangang dia ambèk tuala. Pèsèngang mandi P. Ramlee pulök pagi ning, al maklunglah pukhol 10.30 döh. Dari Manir nök jembe ke Jalang Batah Baru tu jauh jugök. Pah tu nök kena bereti stèsèng minyok Petronah pulök dekat sipang trapik lait Pulau Musang. Döp ingat starang nok tamböh minyök kemarèng. Dök dang 10 minit Mamat siap belake döh. Minung air kopi-ö setegök dua lepah tu pakaa kasut kulit atah tangge kak lambo. Baru beli minggu lepah tu kasut tu. Bekilat ssiö! Lepah tu Mamat pong stak möto vroooooong hale ke bandö. Mötosika sèkèng hèng jer, tapi boleh tahang lah.

Jalang Batah Baru ader banyök bangunang jabbat dengang kedaa. Kalu hale ke depang sikit ada kedaa Astro, hök tv kene bayö bulang-bulang tu. Kalu tebèng dök bayö jer kena pötöng hanyaar. Lepah pada suraa Flat Batah Baru tu ada lèrèk kedaa èkong. Kedaa makang pong ada gök. Kalu jallang sikit lagi sebelum kedaa Astro tu, ada kawasang lapang tepat juaa khète baru cap Hyundaa dengang Kia.

Di antara kedaa èkong dengang kedaa Astro tu ada celöh-celöh tu jabbat löyar baru buka. Pèsèngang baru pah jadi löyar tu Mamat mari mmkir sörrang. Slo-slo Mamat naèk tikat dua. Napök gaye ader dua örang jer kherani. Llaki sörang, ppuang sörang. Boleh tahang hök ppuang tu. Tapi pakaa cicing molèk ngak kat jari manih tu. Ttunang döh pèsèngang tu.. Dök napök gambö starang. Berat nnanang. Mamat kabö ke kherani ppuang tu dia nök jjuper Tuang Löyar. Hayat hidup Mamat dök rajing jjuper löyar skali habuk. Cakkak dengang löyar jauh skali.. Nye mari debö wèh.

Mamat pong ketok pitu masok. Löyar tu tengöh pegang gagang talipung cap Panasonic kat telinga dia. Wayar talipung tu tengöh beseranggöh lagi. “I dah uruskan fixed deposit you sebanyak RM10 juta tu. Lagi satu, minggu depan ni, I nak you ikut I ke Singapore. HSBC Singapore dah buat arrangement untuk finance syarikat klien I, tak banyak, dalam 20 juta Sing dollar. Firm I jadi lawyer jugak tu. I turun KL minggu ni, kita dinner kat Shook di Starhill ok?”

Mamat bukang pandaa sangat cakak orang putih. Tapi bila dengö haa pitih die pahang. Mainang apa juta-juta nim? Mamat mari mmikir.

Löyar muder tu pong letök gagang talipung sambil-sambil kheling ujung mata tengök ke Mamat. “Yer, nök mender? Saya sibuk sangat ni, dök tengök ker?” löyar tu tanye Mamat.

Mamat pucat kesi. Dök tahu nök kata mende. Nök jawak salöh. Tak mboh jawak salöh. Macang mase nök bangung tiddo sakning. Serbe dök kene. Sudöhhang Mamat tebèng jugök jawak.

“Sebenörnyer tuang, sayer nim kheje dengang sarikat Teleköng. Saya mari nok sambung wayar talipung hök tuang wak lölök cakkak sakning. Dök sambung lagi wayar tu, guaner lah tuang boleh cakkak döh!”

Muka tuang löyar tu jadi biru mèrang!

Döh nök wat guana starang! Nök èksèng dök betepat! Ada jugök löyar kècèk orang dèh! Pecöh bo! Orang jamang lenim kata “kantoi”!

Pesanang utk oghang bukang tgganu à Tulung beto blk lidoh tu deh.. hahahaha


9:10 PM | 0 ulasan | Read More

Salah siapa???

Masalah ni salah cikgu Bahasa Melayu atau cikgu Matematik?

6:51 PM | 0 ulasan | Read More

10 Watches More Expensive Than A Ferrari


The Patek Caliber 89 - $5,120,000
Buying this watch would require selling 3.5 Bugatti Veyrons, which happens to be 70% of the total number they sold in 2005. The closest most of us will ever get to a Veyron is drooling over it on Top Gear. It's all about perspective here people. Three Veyrons. Say it out loud – Three. Veyrons. So what makes this watch worth $5.12mil? For starters, it is the most complicated watch on the planet with 33 complications. Essentially, it requires a degree in mechanical engineering to understand, but suffice it to say it has everything but the kitchen sink. It also took more time to design than you spent in college (including those extra years "studying" chemistry).



Split Seconds Patek Philippe Reference 1436 By Tiffany & Co. – $214,000
It's emblazoned with the Tiffany & Co. name, so you know it's gonna be expensive. Compared to the rest of the watches on this list though, it's actually pretty cheap. Well, you know, if two-hundred grand can ever be considered cheap. You're getting the Patek and the Tiffany names, what else could you want? The ability to time two events that start simultaneously but end at different times – you didn't think those fancy blue hands were just for show did you?


Patek Philippe Ref 5016P – $762,000
Rounding out the Patek trinity is the Ref 5016P (The P stands for platinum, duh). This watch is the second most complicated wristwatch (the first one was a pocket watch so it doesn't count) that Patek has produced. The problem with watches of this caliber the need for adjustments, but Patek has an app for that. If you keep this moon-phase, perpetual calendar, retrograde behemoth running continuously it won't need adjusting until 2100. That's something your children's children's children will most certainly appreciate.


The Breguet Marie Antoinette – $XX,000,000
This watch was originally designed by Breguet himself and has more pieces (823) than an iPhone. It's self winding, has a minute repeater, perpetual calendar, equation of time, jumping hour, power reserve indicator, and a bimetallic thermometer – everything but MMS messaging. It took forty-four years for the original to be constructed and Breguet and Marie Antoinette both died before it was completed. Ultimately, the original watch disappeared, never to be seen again. When Swatch acquired Breguet, an Indiana Jones style quest for the watch began. When they came up short they reproduced the watch using only the images of the original. Breguet has received offers in the eight digit range, but still refuse to sell.


Jaeger-LeCoultre Gyrotourbillon 1 – $400,000
This watch is clearly complicated, but it has a feature some of the others don't, a tourbillon. What's a tourbillon? A wrist-mounted anti-gravity device. Tourbillons (in the most basic terms) prevent gravity from adversely affecting accuracy. Normal tourbillons only rock one-axis anti-gravity, this tourbillon rocks two. No word yet on when the third and fourth axis will be integrated.


Rolex Submariner – $234,000
At some point in time, everyone has held, worn, or owned a Rolex Submariner. This one is special because it was held, worn, and owned by the one and only Steve McQueen. That's right, the "King of Cool" owned this particular submersible, self-winding, stainless steel oyster bracelet Rolex. You're getting time, Rolex, and bona fide badassery.


Vacheron Tour de l'Ile – $1,250,000
Vacheron is the oldest watch manufacturer still in existence since its inception in 1755. 250+ years of history allows them to make watches that eclipse most others. The Tour de l'Ile has tourbillon, two faces, and more complications and parts than even the Breguet Marie Antoinette (hopefully without the beheading) making it the most complicated serial wrist watch ever made. It's worth JUST shy of a Veyron… unless you buy used.


AP Royal Oak Grande Complication – $560,000
Audemars Piquet (that's where the AP comes from obviously) does it again with the Royal Oak Grande Complication. The Grande Complication is another watch that has a perpetual calendar accurate until long after you will no longer be alive. It has a lot of the same complications as the other watches (minute repeater, split seconds chronograph, aforementioned perpetual calendar) but presents them in a way that doesn't require a thousand page instruction manual just to read. Real men don't use instruction manuals.


Richard Mille Tourbillon – $525,000
Look at it. It looks like a Rube Goldberg machine had sex with the Gugenheim and the offspring was skeletonized. Quite a few of these watches have modern elements, but none of them have the modern design that this watch does. Made of aluminum, titanium, and awesome it would be the perfect compliment for the new clear hood you just put on the Ferrari.


Ulysse Nardin Triplejack Minute Repeater – $340,000
It may be crazy, but this watch seems like holds some deep, dark, historical secret that only Nicolas Cage can uncover. But that may just be the three Jacks "hammering the bells to separate the quarters from the minutes." Sure, it's more expensive than a Ferrari, but something about this watch just seems a lot less complicated. Since when did you just want to tell time with your watch?



9:48 PM | 0 ulasan | Read More

SURAH PENAWAR - Surah Al-Kautsar

Surah ini paling pendek, hanya mengandungi 3 ayat & diturunkan di Makkah dan bermaksud sungai di syurga. Kolam sungai ini diperbuat daripada batu permata nan indah dan cantik.

Rasa air sungai ini lebih manis daripada madu, warnanya pula lebih putih daripada susu dan lebih wangi daripada kasturi.

Surah ini disifatkan sebagai surah penghibur hati Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. kerana diturunkan ketika baginda bersedih atas kematian 2 orang yang dikasihi iaitu anak lelakinya Ibrahim dan bapa saudaranya Abu Talib.

Pelbagai khasiat terkandung di dalam surah ini dan boleh kita amalkan:-

1) Baca surah ini ketika hujan dan berdoa, mudah-mudahan Allah s.w.t. makbulkan doa kita.

2) Jika kita kehausan dan tiada air, bacalah surah ini dan gosok di leher, Insya'allah hilang dahaga.

3) Jika sering sakit mata, seperti berair, gatal, bengkak, sapukan air mawar yang sudah dibacakan surah ini sebanyak 10x pada mata.

4) Jika rumah dipercayai terkena sihir, baca surah ini 10x, mudah-mudahan Allah s.w.t. bagi ilham pada kita dimana letaknya sihir itu.

5) Jika membacanya 1,000x rezeki kita akan bertambah.

6) Jika rajin membacanya, hati kita akan menjadi lembut dan khusyuk ketika menunaikan solat.

7) Jika orang teraniaya dan terpenjara membacanya sebanyak 71x, Allah s.w.t. akan memberikan bantuan kepadanya kerana dia tidak bersalah tetapi dizalimi.
9:46 PM | 0 ulasan | Read More
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